The darkness

At times, things happen... They don't really have any explainable reason behind it... Yet, they just happen... People say, "Whatever happens, happens for good" or say "after a phase of darkness, comes the light".... Well, what if i say that after I went through a phase of darkness, I somehow started to fear light? What if i say that i want to live in the darkness because once i get out of it, I certainly would not like to come back to this dark gloomy phase... But i know circumstances around me are such that, sooner or later, I will have to return to the most beloved spot: the darkness.... I guess i am so used to living here that life seems the best here.... 

This phase has taught me so many things.. Smile when i feel like crying from inside.. Laugh when i am sad.. Love when all i have received is hate... learn to get up and fight every time i have fallen flat on my face... repeatedly trust people then I’ve been betrayed again and again... I guess all these factors have their contribution in making what i am today... I guess it is this phase of darkness that has given me a hope that life can be beautiful even if it revolves in the dark...

They say, darkness is the home to evil... but i will rather say, darkness is not a habitat to the evil, but of those who have been a victim of evil circumstances.... 

Most of the time i tend to forgive someone who has played with my emotion because i always feel that my forgiveness will help them come out of their phase of "darkness” and the light that will fall onto them will help them make a better person... But at times, an act done by someone that holds the maximum place is so deep that even his cry for forgiveness cannot melt my heart.. I think, after befriending hate and betrayal, I’ve become a stronger person... actually a person who is strong from outside but dying from inside... Dying to be loved... Dying to be with someone who treats me as a priority rather than an option...

People say, everything happens for good... I will say what good has happened to me so far??? is being betrayed, the trust and faith being broken a good omen??? Is it a sign that everything will be fine??? What if i say that this is not the first time that has happened to me...? 

Is it because I’ve never learnt the art of making correct choices?? What if i say i was influenced??? Does it justify?? What if i say i was deceived??? What if I say, I was forced to decide on something that i "probably" didn't want to do....