Silence

Silence...
No sound anywhere
Calmness and tranquility surrounds me
Silence, my new friend...
Silence, I call my own

Silence...
No one can be seen
Till miles away
Only a light breeze over my hair
Silence, my new home
Silence, my life

Silence,
I would sacrifice  anything for you
Like I've been doing each day
To be nearer to you
Silence is all i want
Silence is all i need

A Soldier's Prayer

A solider
Defeated in the war
Caught and captivated
In the enemy's camp
Quietly with a tearful eye
He thinks about his lover
Remembers her laugh
And everything else
Attached with her
Each moment that is passed
He dreams about his escape
But deep in his heart
He knows he is doomed
He wants to escape
And be in the arms of his lover
But he knows he cant
He dies a little more inside
The thought of him
Being away from his lover
Rips his heart apart
Tortured by the enemies
He is all bruised
All his joint hurts
Because of the enemy's sticks
One gloomy night
While lost in his thoughts
About his lover
And dreaming of his escape
The enemy quietly enters his cell
And shoots a bullet
That pierces his heart

Haunted Dream

One frosty morning

Someone knocked the front door
I wondered who could it be
Through the curtain I went up to see
A strange figure
Shivering in a distance
That was only visible
From my window
In a dilemma i was
If i should open the door
And let the stranger in
For a warm cup of tea
I was scared
To let a stranger
Enter my house
As it could be anyone
I walked towards the door
To lock it
So that the strange figure
Stops haunting me
I tried to lock it
But I was not able to
From the window
I could see
That strange figure
Coming towards me
Paralyzed with fear,
I collapsed on the floor
Few hours later
When I woke up,
All this while,
I was just dreaming!! 

Life...

The curtains fall
To mark the end of the day

The orange sky after sunset

Indicates that darkness is around

Days goes by
And the nights follow
And long before we realize
How quickly time files
That is strong enough
To change a flower
Into a withered one
Long before we know
The chapters of our life fold
We are on the last few pages
Not really knowing
Which one carries the end
One fine day,
When no one realizes
We bid a goodbye
To those who have been with us
And  to earth
Forever and ever...... 

Incomplete.......

I get all nostalgic
When i see your face
Its like i disappear
To an unknown place
I stare at you
And look into your eyes
I never realize
How quickly, time flies
I think about you
All day long
I weave your memories
Into a beautiful song

We Part Our Ways.....

I shiver a little more inside
The moment i hear your name
Each little things remind me of you
And how perfect everything used to be

Each morning i wake up,
I die a little more inside
I know i miss you much more
But there is nothing much i can do

I promise myself that i'll not think about you
I try my best to forget you
But how can i remove whats engraved in my heart
How can i forget what you meant to me

I try to fool myself all the time
I pretend that i am happy
I try to show I am not crying form inside
That is all I've been trying

Days go by and weeks passes like that
But you and i can never get what it back
Those moments and everything else
We shared and hoped it'll be there forever

You can't blame me and I can't face the blame
As it is never easy to part ways
Let us both carry a ray of hope
That sometime, somewhere, we'll meet again

FRIENDS FOREVER............

People come and go
Some are here to stay
Some make a difference
While for others its just
A matter of time
You are close to someone
For others, you're
Another nobody
You befriend someone
You consider that person
As your whole world
You laugh and cry together
Share every little moment
You feel lost without them
Life seems incomplete
In their absence
You feel incomplete
When you don't get to be with them
Everything feels so great
When they are with you
In all your good and bad times
Friends, that is what they are called
Those angels in disguise
Who surround us

Just a Thought....

Will you always be there with me wen i am left out all alone in this world or when I’ll cry out loud and will be shivering inside?
Will u still be as good as u r today?
Will u still listen to my voice and not pretend n walk away??
Will u still look back?
Will the love we had today be a burnt out candle tomorrow?
Will it be lighted out in a heavy rain where tears of loneliness soak me completely?
Will u still take me in the paradise even i m not able 2 walk?
I’ll try not 2 show u that m dying from inside... I can never expect a goodbye from you because i know that u r always mine. I’ll still call out for u even if u turn your back towards me.. I’ll still run after your perfume's fragrance and once again make it my desire.. I know that the times have changed and so have you and the feelings too have changed long before and u no longer dream about me in anyway or think that remembering you makes me cry my lungs out. I look in the mirror to see the reflection of the crazy times we've spent together. Now it seems that I’ve lost control over all this but i always thought that u would understand why i resisted kissing u. It was all the insecurity that I had about you, that you don’t love me anymore, please don’t leave this place and please stay back. I’m sorry but I can’t stop my heart that beats for you. I see our love being burnt in the flames and choke hard in its ashes but i guess the beauty of love of lovely people like us has to come to an end. All i do is cry in front of your torn picture that reminds me of the good moments and forces me to smile and say "LET IT BE"

THE OTHER SIDE OF FEMINISM

THE OTHER SIDE OF FEMINISM

Feminism... A cause to stand up for... A word that might be every young girl's lips like me, who wishes to see a change in the way a woman, is brought up in this male dominated society.... I've heard people saying that girls are better than boys in all the aspect... But i would say, this thing holds true if she is given a chance to prove herself... There might have been cases where a girl has proved to reach further than a man... Cases where she has proved man to be unsuccessful... There are so many examples to prove this point of mine....

But is this situation the same everywhere??? 

People say, a change has been brought!! "Change"....Changing a society which is so narrow minded and very hollow... A society which has all the doors open for male but none open for female.... There might be countable number of chances for a young girl to make her name, but an infinite number of chances given to a man to stand on his own two feet.... Why is a girl kept in cages? Why is she chained? Why is she not free to all that her heart desires? If a girl does "activities" that go against her society's wellbeing, she is termed as a girl having a loose moral character! Is this fair? Is this what feminism means?

On the other hand, a guy is free.. Free to do anything... He might have some restrictions, but these restrictions are just nothing if compared to that of a girl... How is it possible that a man never has a loose moral character? 

If we go back in time and flip the pages of our history books, we can see that women have been a victim of an evil circumstance... Take sati and widow for example... Why were women forced to burn herself alive in her husband's pyre? But on the other hand, no such compulsion were put up on a man whose wife had died... When a woman became a widow, why was she denied all the basic rights? Why was her needs suppressed? But on the other hand, a widower had to go no such social crimes... Why couldn't a widow remarry but a widower could happily do so? Why does polygamy exist?? Why is a female blamed for everything?? Can’t we find any fault or flaws in a male?

When a girl gets married, why do her in-laws demand for dowry? Isn’t that an offence? A father is already giving her daughter.. He is parting with his much loved part of his life... Then now, why does he have to give dowry?? Is this just??

If the girl fails to meet the dowry demands of her in-laws, she is treated horribly.. And i know many of you agree here... instead of making her warm and comfortable in the new house, (the house she is married into) she becomes a victim of social evils and faces criticism everywhere...

Years have passed.. But the status of a female still is the same in some rural areas... if i was wrong in saying this, then there shouldn't have been any cases of female feticide or female infanticide would not have been in practice... 

In some places, a girl is denied even her basic education...People have the mentality that a girl has to get married and go away.. So why waste money on her?  Is she really not worth investing even a penny?? Doesn’t she have any rights? 

Is she a burden on parents?? Looking at all these, i feel so blessed to be born in a house where a girl has a status equal to or probably higher than that of a boy... 

When will the social situation change? How long do girls have to function under the domination of her father or brother or husband or anyone else?? 

Is this equality?? is this feminism?? is this what a 21st century society should actually be?? 

ojasvini baral

29th jan, 2011

For The First Time

When our eyes met,

For the first time

You were a stranger

We had different paths & different views

Nothing that could bind us together

When we smiled at each other,

For the first time,

Everything seemed quite unusual

I did not understand

What was happening

When we spoke to each other

For the first time,

I could sense

A new friend in you

A friend that stays forever

When we laughed at little jokes

For the first time,

I knew i was falling for you

I tried to explain myself that its not right

But failed at doing so

Now after all these,

I feel as if i am experiencing

Something totally different

That is not really new,

For the first time

But now,

For the first time,

I am really scared

Scared of losing u

Losing u forever

JUSTIFICATION...

JUSTIFICATION

You've been hurting me all  this while

I kept quiet

You made me cry

I still didnt say anything

You broke my heart

I just started collecting the pieces

You told me lies

I pretended not to hear them

You pretended to be something you were not

I believed you

You broke my trust

I never gave up

You left me behind

I never stopped following you

You left me all alone

I never lost hope

You drag me between your problems

I never even had a word 2 defend myself

Did i ever interfere in your life??

Please be honest about it

Did i ever commit any crime??

If i did then please let me know

Did i ever do something that i wasnt supposed to do?

Then please forgive me

As i dont want to cry

I don't want to fall for this thing again

I don't want to be hurt

Do u think i need to justify for all this???

Do u think i should apologise??

Do u think i am the one to blame???

08.05.11

Strangers.....

Sometime back
You were a stranger
No clue who you were
No idea where you belonged
Days passed
Stranger became a friend
Slowly and slowly
The closeness increased
A lovely connection was made

A new friend in u i found

Slowly n steadily

We shared out thoughts

And before long,

We realized the love

That had been slowly making a place

Inside your heart as well as mine

We started calling each other frequently

Missed each other more and more

Before we knew what was going on

Another relation was formed

From total strangers, we became one

Day and night got more restless

Hearing the other person's voice

Was the only cure

I hope that me and my perfect stranger

Remain friends for ever and ever....

A Thought and a Prayer

We are here for a moment
Lets live it to the fullest
No remorse, no sadness
Let us all find our share of happiness
So that later in life
There is absolutely nothing
That we can regret of...
No war and no hate
In this perfect world, let us all blend
Let no one shed a single drop of tear
As life is too short to live with a fear
Let happiness be in everyone's palm
And people become more calm
Towards each other and everyone else they meet
Let everyone know how to help
Each other and everyone else
Let us all understand one another
Let us all make world a better living place

This Is What Life Is

I rushed towards the platform to catch the train. I was covered all in sweat. It was the last train for the evening. And the next train was scheduled to depart next morning. I wanted to go home early and spend some time with my family as I hadn't visited them since months. Everyone was eagerly waiting for my arrival. Mom had planned to greet me by serving my favorite dish. Wow, i am going home... This feeling gave me happiness.. The happiness I've been searching in small and big things since sometime..
I was running towards the platform with a small bag that had enough clothes for next few days. After i reached the platform, i realized that the train had departed a few minutes ago. I felt like cursing the city traffic which was highly disorganized due to the increase in the number of cars. Oh dear, now what was i supposed to do? That was my last train home and that was where i wanted to be. Though my home was only a few hundred kms away, i felt sad and helpless. What was i to do? Dejected, i sat on a bench of the deserted platform. A vibe of melancholy went through my body. I was angry and i could feel hot boiling tears rolling down my cheeks.
I slowly got up, took my bag and started walking towards the counter to book another ticket for the morning. After booking the next ticket, i made my way to the waiting hall, as it was the question of a few hours. I got inside the waiting hall, which was in a shabby condition. I took a deep breath and said to myself, hey, its fine. Just a question of a few hours. I really did not like the feeling of being there. I wanted to go home, and yes, that is where i wanted to be.
I moved my eyeball around the room. In one of the corner, behind an old tattered bag, i saw a girl, who probably had just entered into adolescence. Wow, I said to my self, it must be so wonderful time for her, as she was going through the time, which was a narrow passage between her childhood and her youth. I looked at her and i remembered how i was when i was in that phase of life. The girl was holding a small child in her arms. It might probably be her sister or probably, she was holding one of her relative's child. One could easily make out how much love she had for the small child. I couldn't resist and hold myself any longer. I decided to walk up to that girl and talk to her. Again, i decided not to, as she might not like it.  Without giving it much thought, i walked towards her and sat down on the ground beside her. It was cold there. I wondered how she was sitting there since that long. I smiled, and i could see that she was scared and had a sight of panic and worry across her face. I said a warm hello and she was so scared and numb. I reached out to my bag and for a small packet of potato chips and i offered it to her. She accepted it, but was still not sure if I was a friend or an enemy. Finally she broke her silence when she asked me if I was carrying water or not as her 6 months old daughter was thirsty. To those words of hers, I was dazed and couldn't utter a word. I had some water left which i gave it to the little child.
After I gained my voice back, i conversed with her, and I found that, she was just another victim of girl trafficking who was sold by her father as he was in need of some money. That girl went through so much in life and at the age of 14, when everyone else of her age is enjoying the experience of making friends and gaining knowledge, she was carrying a baby in her arms and was a subject of harassment by some shameless creatures who probably never realized what they were up to. She had no home and took shelter in different platforms and waiting rooms. She begged people for money to sustain herself and her daughter's life. I wish there was an end to it.
I asked her, if she wanted to read and write. Yes, her face was exclaimed with glory. I told her that I would teach her to learn to read and write. She was very happy and thrilled and started weeping. I held her daughter, kissed her on her forehead and made her sleep on my lap. She told me, her daughter will be protected from all the evil of the world. She was determined to give her daughter a better life.
That was when i realized, life is not about how many trains you miss. Trouble is not when you miss a train, as life has a hot of pain and hardships and we need to learn to live with it.
Yes, it was the last train for the evening and i missed the last train home, but i don't regret it....  Because I had a home and a family...

Broken Heart's Tale

A BROKEN HEART  (OJASVINI, 20.4.09)

Your luv came in my life

And happiness pierced my heart like a knife

You took away all my sadness

And filled my heart with happiness

But things were never as we planned

And 1 day my life came 2 a stand

When i committed a wrong deed

The time when u were my greatest need

You went away leaving me behind

And threw me out of your mind

Was da knot of our relation that strong??

That 1 leaves d other just 2 mourn?????

Is this what i get for saying i need some time

Before i accept u as entirely mine??                        

Is this what those three words meant??

When those bitter words through your lips u sent

Tears fill my eyes wen i see,

That my friend has backstabbed me

She always said u were like her brother

And there was no relation between u rather

So is this were the 2 of u are

Kissing and confessing "we're made 4 each other"

I am left out all alone in this crowd

No one who can hear me wen i cry out loud

I wish u all the goodness

And hope that u have all the happiness..

How Does It Feel To Be Unwanted?

I got an inspiration to write this poem from a random forwarded message that talked about humanity....

They call me fat,                            

Because i don't look like them

But they never see

That i have a problem

They call me names

They make fun of me

They look down on me

Just because i am fat

They call me poor

Because i cant wear the clothes they wear

But they don't realize

That clothes are not my priority

They laugh at me

Call me an old fashioned girl

But is dressing up really important??

To be friends??

But alas, they look down on me

Just because I cant buy clothes

They call me a desperate girl

Because i make friends easily

But they never think that

I am just trying to socialize

Trying to make friends

Without letting them take an advantage

But they fail to see that

So they hate me

because they THINK that I'm desperate

They call me ugly

Because i don't have a white face

They never thought that

Even black face can be pretty

They shoo me away

As if i'm a victim of an infectious disease

But they never see that

Its just the difference of color in the skin

Is being a dark shade a crime?

They call me evil

Because I am all alone

They think I'm possessed

As I try to avoid them

But they never realize that 

Its because of them

I've become like this

But i really don't regret it

As i'm proud to be who i am 

Creeper Shadow

Walking down the road
Late in the night
In a total silence
With a light breeze
I saw a shadow
Creeping behind me
I turned around
To see who it was
I could  see no one
I was scared Started walking faster
I could hear someone walking
I turned around again
I could see none
I started running
Like the creeping shadow behind me
Was it some thug
Trying to rob me
Or perhaps a stalker
Who has been stalking me
I was scared
I was alone
I felt weak
I felt doomed
That shadow caught me
Only to find out
That the shadow was my own

I Love You

Life seems so beautiful when you are around

A new meaning that i have found

A feeling so beautiful that i get

When with you i watch the sun set

The late night talks, an eternal bliss

When in my dreams you come and kiss

You take me to a faraway land

Where we both sit together hand in hand

And watch the golden lake

A moment so wonderful, that we make

I love you, i certainly do

A thing which seems entirely new

Let this thing be forever

Like a fairy-tale that goes on forever....

I love you

I Miss You

Red and swollen up eye filled with tears

Since we parted, it’s been years

I still can’t believe that you've gone away

As i am still left in this feeling of dismay

I could've stopped you from leaving

I did not know that i would end up grieving

I thought you would be back soon

And i waited for you each afternoon

But you didn't come

Waiting for you had become tiresome

I went out in the cold to look for you

So i asked everyone but none had a clue

I showed them your picture

But to my question, no one could answer

I looked around all the places you've been

But there weren’t any traces of you that anyone had seen

Some months later in an unheard place

A young boy said he had seen your face

You were there to get me a souvenir

A tribal necklace, that was so rare

But who knew that the place would be struck by flood

That left tears and blood

You were gone and you would never come back

And to accept this fact was really hard

All that is left with me is your ashes

And the memories of the good time we spent

All Of A Sudden

All of a sudden,

I feel alone...

A loner to face the world 

Left with no friends...

Left with none to rely upon...

All of a sudden,

I want to cry...

Cry out loud

And tell the world that,

I can still get up and fight

All of a sudden,

I want to hide

Hide in darkness...

So that none can see me

And make fun of me...

All of a sudden, 

I want to run away...

To an unheard place

And never come back

To the place where i actually belong

All of a sudden,

I feel i am a coward..

Scared to meet people

Scared to lose old people

Scared of everything....

All of a sudden,

Things just happened...

Things beyond my control....

I lost a lot of people...

Whose close substitute can never be found….

Yesterday

Yesterday….

Yesterday life seemed so different

Yesterday I was someone else

Yesterday I felt I had nothing left

It was only yesterday

Love and life seemed to be the same

This was the thing that got me insane

Love and life were inseparable

Yes, it was only yesterday

Everything mattered a lot to me

People thought I was crazy

Everyone could hurt me easily

Yes, it all happened yesterday

My heart was broken constantly

By friends and foes and even by a passer-by

I trusted everyone without giving them a second thought

Yes, this happened yesterday

I was so delicate and fragile

Every emotion mattered so much to me

I wanted to leave everything and run away

It was only yesterday

The darkness

At times, things happen... They don't really have any explainable reason behind it... Yet, they just happen... People say, "Whatever happens, happens for good" or say "after a phase of darkness, comes the light".... Well, what if i say that after I went through a phase of darkness, I somehow started to fear light? What if i say that i want to live in the darkness because once i get out of it, I certainly would not like to come back to this dark gloomy phase... But i know circumstances around me are such that, sooner or later, I will have to return to the most beloved spot: the darkness.... I guess i am so used to living here that life seems the best here.... 

This phase has taught me so many things.. Smile when i feel like crying from inside.. Laugh when i am sad.. Love when all i have received is hate... learn to get up and fight every time i have fallen flat on my face... repeatedly trust people then I’ve been betrayed again and again... I guess all these factors have their contribution in making what i am today... I guess it is this phase of darkness that has given me a hope that life can be beautiful even if it revolves in the dark...

They say, darkness is the home to evil... but i will rather say, darkness is not a habitat to the evil, but of those who have been a victim of evil circumstances.... 

Most of the time i tend to forgive someone who has played with my emotion because i always feel that my forgiveness will help them come out of their phase of "darkness” and the light that will fall onto them will help them make a better person... But at times, an act done by someone that holds the maximum place is so deep that even his cry for forgiveness cannot melt my heart.. I think, after befriending hate and betrayal, I’ve become a stronger person... actually a person who is strong from outside but dying from inside... Dying to be loved... Dying to be with someone who treats me as a priority rather than an option...

People say, everything happens for good... I will say what good has happened to me so far??? is being betrayed, the trust and faith being broken a good omen??? Is it a sign that everything will be fine??? What if i say that this is not the first time that has happened to me...? 

Is it because I’ve never learnt the art of making correct choices?? What if i say i was influenced??? Does it justify?? What if i say i was deceived??? What if I say, I was forced to decide on something that i "probably" didn't want to do.... 

A Small Journey

After a long day enjoying with friends, i got down the bus and was going to catch the metro from the other side of the road.This had become my usual routine. I took the same road everyday, a crowded and busy road, with vehicles honking around. Tranquillity was remotely present there, and everyone passing by that road had their own life. None had even a minute of their time to take a look at a passerby. There was a small dispensary nearby and most of the times, one could see some patients.. At times, the sights were really disturbing and rest of the times, it was just virtually normal. I was so used to looking at the different kind of medical problem with people that the sight no longer made a drop of tear roll down my cheeks. The crossing was a host to some petty hawkers. Every kind of people were seen here.

To go to the other side of the road, i had to take a subway which was again used by petty traders and some beggers. Sometimes, one could spot someone lying down in one of the corner of the subway. All this was a pretty usual sight and by now, nothing fascinated me. Everyday i would come across the same vendors at both the sides of the road or in the subway. But today, as i walked down the stairs of the subway which was almost deserted, i saw an unseen face. A man, he must not have been too old and he wasnt that young either. He had no limbs and one of his arm was also missing. His body was filled with bruises, cuts almost at every remaining part of his body, and to worsen that, he had no money to get himself treated. His bloody red eyes were begging for some mercy, and his lips were softly calling for ALLAH.. He had some change lying around him, probably tossed by passerby. Looking at him, a thought came on to me, are people encouraging begging by giving this fellow some money or was he really in need of it? I couldn't really come to a conclusion because i knew so many stories about begging as a profession, but at the same time, looking at his plight, i thought that he might really be in need of some money. I wanted someone to help this man so that he could get some treatement done, after which he could get some respectable job rather than begging on the streets. It was really horrifying that somebody's misfortune is ignored to this extent. He was probably calling for ALLAH  because he wanted to be free from his present life, or probably he was repenting for something he had done. I wanted to tell him to go to the local dispensary which was run by the government so taht people like him could be treated for free. I wanted to help him in someway or the other. I was embarrased at my own incapability of helping him. I opened my purse and searched for my wallet. I found a 10 rupees note there and i tossed it at his bowl. I never like to give a penny to a begger but today, a little voice inside me told me that i should go ahead. I don't know if i did anything wrong as even if i did, i wouldn't really care as i somehow believe that i helped him. 

But as the day has come to a fall, i think to myself, was it worth it? Will that 10 rupees really help him? Could i have done something more to help him?